How to Have an Affair at Work Without Getting Caught

Fancy someone at the office, do we, hmmm? Feeling a little naughty, are we? Alright look, I pride myself on being objective and

non-judgmental when it comes to other peoples affairs (pardon the pun 😛 ) as long as it doesn’t involve me personally, and that’s not going to change now. I detest those who insist on sticking their nose into other people’s business and passing judgment on them, so I’m just going to give some quick tips on what

to do and what not to do, mainly via this lovely (and somewhat humorous) video here, plus some additional tips below that. Have a quick look:

Additional Tips on Getting Your Freak on With Someone From the Office

  • I’ve talked to several cops, and just sheerly for the purpose of driving this through your head, I suggest you ask a cop about this as well if you get the chance. You know how they catch roughly 90% of felons? The bad guys open their stupid fucking mouths and tell people, oftentimes the cops, about what they’ve done. I’m not kidding. I remember talking to a friend of mine who’s NOPD (New Orleans), and he said that if the guys that committed murders would just keep their mouths closed and never talk about what they did, because they often either bragged about it or confessed to someone out of guilt, they wouldn’t catch literally 90% of the ones that they do. How about that? Are you getting the point here? KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT! Don’t tell anyone, not even your closest friends if you can avoid it, and extract a promise from your lover to do the same, and if questioned about it by anyone, such as your partner, deny, deny, deny. Got it? If the people who have affairs would all do this, probably around 90% of the ones who do get caught wouldn’t, right?
  • You should not only use a separate e-mail account that no one but your lover knows about, but you should avoid using any computer you share at home with your partner. If you’ve got a personal laptop that they never use, that would be perfect. Using only the computer at the office will work, it’s better than using the one at home (what’s worse, your boss finding out or your partner? exactly), but I’d avoid this if at all possible.
  • Don’t use your personal cell phone, it’s way too easy for a suspicious partner to quickly snoop through your messages, received calls, and sent calls in a few minutes when you’re not around. Use
    pre-paid cell phones. Also, remember that if your lover isn’t taking these precautions as well then they’re opening you up to serious risk because

    what if their partner catches them and decides to get back at you by telling your partner? This is not uncommon.

Additional Resources and Further Reading

Here’s a whole site dedicated to those having an affair and helping them out.

This is a really short list of tips to follow when having an affair, note the first one!