The Most Dangerous Relationships – Three Signs of a Bad Relationship
When we fall in love, we are blinded from these three signs. This is Mother Nature’s way of making sure that babies happen! After about two years, however, we regain our perspective, and these three signs begin to show up.
|If you are very aware, you can notice them almost immediately even before a relationship goes past that point of no return. Then, there is a chance to save yourself from what may be, at best,an almost certain disappointment, and at worst, a tragedy.|
The first sign is a lack of discipline. You might be attracted to a devil-may-care attitude, recklessness, danger, and bravado, but in the end, these will destroy a relationship. Thinking of the other’s needs is the strength of any relationship, but when discipline is lacking, needs are never considered except for one’s own, and the fun times will soon stop.
The second sign is a lack of compassion. This comes across as an overly intense desire to control you by pleasing you, and perhaps your family, in a very charming way.
|This controlling mechanism comes across as flattery, at the time, but this can be turned around quickly when you are the one being controlled; you will no longer please a controller when the relationship becomes a little less interesting and normal to the controller. Simmering anger is a dead giveaway regarding controllers.|
Lack of wisdom is the third sign. Wisdom is different from being smart or clever; wisdom sees things from a more lofty perspective. Being witty and making money easily is a sign of being clever, but working hard and steady, along with considering other’s feelings is a sign of wisdom, regardless whether great sums of money are accumulated or not.
These three signs can forewarn us of not only psychological problems to come, but possible physical harm as well. This is why these signs should be taken seriously. The time to notice them is before one falls in love because once that happens, temporary insanity, along with temporary blindness, sets in. Look around at failed relationships in your immediate circle of relatives and friends. If you look into the details, more than likely you will find these three problems; a lack of discipline, a lack of compassion, and a lack of wisdom.
If you meet someone who is not controlling, who displays sincerity and kindness (toward everyone, not only you), rather than manipulation and anger, then the relationship will be very comfortable and loving. But be sure and look for signs of strong opinions and augmentative traits, because this is not sincere or kind. Also, watch out for over confidence and an attitude of superiority. If you do not feel that you are on the same level intellectually and emotionally as your partner, this could portend problems ahead, because one or the other may become dissatisfied and bored.
Sincere kindness and openness is what to look for. A willingness to not so much give in to your wants and needs, but a willingness to discus, rather than dictate. This is so important. “What would you like to do,” instead of “Here’s what we are going to do.”
Insecure people are many times attracted to controlling people. If instead they were attracted to quiet, non-controlling people, then their self-esteem would be nurtured. With a controller, however, insecure people only dig themselves a deeper hole, and things more often than not go from bad to worse. For example when a controlling type person is put in a position where he or she can no longer control things, such as a court judgment involving children, then, if the need to control is manic, violence could result. A controller would rather commit murder-suicide than give in, knowing that he or she would still be in control of their entire family when they pull the trigger.
Control and manipulation are the most dangerous of the three signs, because when we are controlled and manipulated, things invariably go from bad, to extremely bad, in short order. Better to pass, when it comes to controlling type people, and wait for someone who truly has your interests at heart. A little patience and a little discernment up front will bring you untold benefits in the long run. This is very important, and you should think about these things.
Also, the danger inherent with controlling-type people is not limited to one-on-one relationships. Anyone, or any organization that tells you what you must believe in order to remain a member of that organization is dangerous as well. The danger lays in the cult-like mentality that results when people are restricted from thinking for themselves. America believes in freedom, and this freedom must be . . . free, and not dependent upon the ideas of some controlling group. At the first sign of control, make your exit. You will be much happier in the long run.
And if you cannot find a relationship that is disciplined, compassionate, and wise, and not controlling; better to remain alone.