The most heart-wrenching thing in the world is getting dumped by someone you really care about. I had my heart ripped out about 2 years ago and I still occasionally think about her and wonder what she’s doing–you get over it, as I have, but you don’t ever forget about them. You really have to do all you can just
|to keep yourself from breaking down and completely losing it, don’t you? I understand. Alright, I’ve got some excellent advice for you here today about how to handle the tidal wave of emotions that you’re overcome with and get yourself together so you can get back to being happy again. But first, I feel as though a little bit of|
dark humor is in order, have a look at this, have a laugh, and then continue below for the serious bit:
Right, I’ve got a few tips for you first:
- Don’t hold it in, GET IT OUT. Girls are actually better at this than guys are. Girls will get all their girlfriends and have a
girl’s night in where they all cry and boy-bash and drink and get all their feelings out, and then she’ll start to feel a lot better because she has kind of gotten it out of her system, or started to at least. Guys are weird about this (I’m a guy, I know), they
can’t do that with their male friends, and therein lies the key: guys, listen to me, your female friends here are VITAL, because unlike with your guy friends, you can go to one of your female friends and cry, literally cry, on her shoulder. You can get all those emotions out, swear her to secrecy (and if she’s a good friend that will be sufficient), and you will feel MUCH BETTER, I promise. I’m serious: I have done this, and it is a lifesaver. You don’t have to tell anyone else about it, but you have GOT to get those emotions out somehow.
- 30 days, NO CONTACT. You’ve probably heard this before but I’ll say it again: stay away from your ex for at least 30 days, it seems like it sucks but it can prevent all kinds of horrible drama from occurring.
- Don’t give up on everything else you’re doing: taking a short break for a few days is fine, but don’t just stop working out and working on those projects that were important to you before you got dumped; you might not feel like doing this stuff, but it will really help you feel better if you do. That sense of purpose and accomplishment, plus the sheer distraction of it, can seriously help to keep you from going nuts and spiraling deeper into depression.
- Start seeing other people, preferably sooner rather than later. I understand that this is much easier for girls to do than guys, but honestly a little bit of random freaky-deekyness will help you get it into your head that there are actually other people out there who are attracted to you and you DO have other options.
Alright, now I’ve got a video for you, and although it’s sort of aimed at girls, it’s just as helpful for guys (she even later added a note to this video saying exactly that):
Additional Resources and Further Reading
For girls there are TONS of good books out there, the most popular currently being: He’s Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys, as well as It’s A Breakup Not A Breakdown and It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken. Guys, there just isn’t that much out there for us, which is horribly unfair, but something that’s kind of indirectly related which I just finished reading and can highly recommend is For Men Only: A Straightforward Guide to the Inner Lives of Women–through hundreds of interviews and the results of a scientific national survey of women, this book demonstrates that women are actually not random and that they really can be systematized and “mapped.” In fact, much to men’s delight, this book shows that women are actually quite easy to understand and please—as long as you know what it is they need. This simple map will guide you to loving your wife or girlfriend in the way she needs to be loved.
HelpGuide.org has got an excellent article on how to deal with a breakup, definitely worth reading.