Why Nice Guys Really Do Finish Last: A Girl’s Perspective
By A. Aaron
Let’s start with a little definition – “nice guys” are gentlemen who are level-headed, hardworking, and basically good members of society who’d do anything to make their woman happy.
| “Bad boys,” on the other hand, are cocky and arrogant, and do many things that would normally annoy women out of their skins. |
Here’s something surprising – as much as women would like to have a nice guy as their companion in life, there are many things in bad boys that they find so much more attractive. And what may be even more surprising is that many of these women would deny having such an attraction to bad boys!
But take a few minutes and think about it.
| How many times have you found yourself intensely attracted to a particular bad boy (or someone who was otherwise emotionally unavailable)? Or was there a time in your life that you actually dated |
a bad boy, even if you didn’t know he was one at the time?
Do you have a nice guy in your life that you know would make a great lifelong companion, but somehow feel no attraction to or connection with? (I bet you do.)
Mainstream media often claims that women these days like bad boys better (owing to the idea that women sometimes have guilty lust like men, or are equally prone to getting into short-term relationships as men). And on the other hand, conventional wisdom insists that being nice is the only way to please a woman properly.
Sorry, but both ideas are not quite right.
The emotional connection that underlies every good, long-lasting relationship is brought about by a powerful gut-level attraction between the man and the woman, and this connection can be felt with bad boys and nice guys in equal frequency and intensity.
Here’s the problem with nice guys – kissing up, doting, or otherwise being too nice to a woman can kill this connection. Women may like the attention and feel good around these men, but this doesn’t equate to attraction. And chances are, it won’t eventually be.
Think about it. We’re programmed to enjoy the things that are difficult to get much better than the things we can get very easily. This is why we love getting things that are normally out of reach, such as good food, designer clothes, and great relationships.
And let’s face it – we don’t value the things that we can get very easily very much. That includes the fawning attention we get from nice guys. I’m sure you’ve had the thought that “He’s nice and all, but I don’t think I’ll be getting into a relationship with him anytime soon” when you were with a particularly nice guy in your life.
Of course, this also doesn’t mean that men have to be jerks to be good with women – far from it. It’s simply that bad boys have more of the qualities that can sustain stronger connections with women than nice guys. The longevity of relationships depend on this gut-level attraction, this invisible connection – the chemistry, if you will – much more than being “nice” or “bad.”
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